I don't mean selfishly and narcissistically. Let me tell you a little something...as a student at BYU it's hard not to feel like an old maid approaching a sad death utterly alone as one nears the end of their teenage years. Does that make sense? I'll rephrase.
{Before you read any farther, just know: this is really embarrassing to acknowledge my part in the freakishly true stereotype about BYU.}
BYU is a very large pool of eligible singles who are all trying to get married before the age of 22 {that might be a slight exaggeration}. I am 19. I am in the middle of this very large pool, and sometimes it's hard to remember that age 19 is still considered a child in the real world. I sometimes forget that I don't need to get married before I'm 20. Sometimes I forget that I didn't go to BYU to get married, I went to get an education.
So this is why 2010 will be for myself. I'm going to quit worrying about the one. I'm going to quit thinking about marriage and how fun it will be, because I'm only 19. I will stop letting my heart break over silly boys who shouldn't have that power over me anyway. I'm going to start doing things for myself for once, and not because "it'll be a good quality to have for when I'm married." I'm going to discover myself and the things that light me with fire. I'm going to be crazy and fun and spontaneous {alright, that one's a stretch...but I'll try}. I'm going to take advantage of the years I'm free and only have to worry about myself.
Amy Adams said in an interview that if she could live her 20s again, she would quit worrying all about making herself perfect for the guy who would someday show up in her life. She said she would go back and take a cooking class or guitar lessons - simply because she wanted to. She wished she had just focused on having fun and living for herself, instead of for the faceless prince charming that was somewhere in her future.
Pretty good advice, Amy. I think I'm going to start living my life for me.
2 comments:
I would agree with your advice... sometimes that ONE just appears out of nowhere while you are doing just that! ...I met Aaron right as I had made the same decision you're making & guess what, I married at 19. When you stop trying so hard to find the ONE, sometimes the ONE finds you... Live your life and enjoy yourself! Your so stinkin' beautiful- inside and out! Love Jess
Can I just say that I absolutely love this! It is also embarrassing for me to admit that occasionally I find myself thinking the same things. And then I have to remind myself that I am being crazy b/c if I had it my way I would not even want to be married right now/in the very near future. I love love your resolution. Maybe even enough to steal it.
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